1 of 15
  • Just for fun.

    Looking for a great gift idea? Or maybe just a bit of fun for yourself. Cabonk gives you plenty of ideas to choose from and special deals everyday.

  • Build Quality

    We only do t-shirts. And we've looked wide and far to find t-shirts that have a great fit and won't fall apart or lose their shape after a few washes.

  • Reliability

    Based in Australia, we source and produce our t-shirts locally rather than shopping them out to be made by some sweatshop overseas. We use Australia Post exclusively to handle deliveries - which is incredibly boring but incredibly reliable.

Did You Know?

Not cheap and nasty

I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

Most of the cost of your tee has nothing to do with the t-shirt itself. The lions share of what you are paying is for marketing and freight. And paying ourselves to produce it and ship it to you.

Our tees cost a little more because we pay a little more for the t-shirt itself - to make sure its good enough for you to get lots of wear out of it. And it feels great on when you go peacocking around with that witty line on your chest. 

We charge a bit more so we can take the risk out of purchasing online for you.

I’ve seen tees from cheap suppliers where the printing was already cracking straight out of the packet or the tee felt like a garbage bag when you put it on. You don’t want that.

How we pick our basic tee quality

As a creative person (wanker?) I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time wearing tees over the years.

I’ve spent a lot of time looking at options from around the world but I always came back to looking at which tees I’d worn in the past that seems to last the longest and fit the best. I’ve always liked tees from Fruit of the Loom. A classic tee that’s as ‘murican as Springsteen and soda pop. Built like a trusty ole Mac truck - but nice to wear. 

I originally thought I’d just print everything on Fruit of the Loom originals - but their retail markup would make the cost stratospheric. So I’ve spent my time finding products that have that nice FOTL quality - but can be bought at a wholesale cost that makes it a better price for you.

And, for our women’s options, we’ve found tees that are soft to touch and shaped to look great on you. 

We are also focussed on giving you the best possible tee. that’s why we don’t get ourselves distracted by selling mugs, caps, bottle openers and useless electronic gadgets with messages on them. Tees. Tees. Tees.

All about shipping

Just like the quality of tees there’s shipping and there’s “cheap” shipping. And you usually get what you pay for.

Low cost or obscure shipping often means that it doesn’t arrive or there’s zero systems in place to track the delivery or deal with problems. And, god help you if your tee is really shipping from a subcontractor in the backwoods of a developing country somewhere.

After looking at the options we decided to ship everything through Australia Post.

Yep, it costs a bit more. But they have world-class systems in place for both domestic and international despatch. Big, safe and friendly. Which is just what you want when your tee is wending its way to your door.

And your local postie is probably smart enough to know that that your dog will eat any parcel that’s just hoicked over your front fence. Isn’t hoiked a wonderful word. I just sounds like the action of a delivery guy practicing his pitching skills with your package.

If you're looking at this page because you have a problem then we'd like to start by offering you a big apology. We hate it when things go wrong.

If you're looking at this page because you like to read fine print on websites, we suggest you urgently book an appointment with an OCD specialist.

Returns: Dare to be different

When you get to the Returns section of most t-shirt stores you are usually greeted by a whole pile of legalese (that was probably cut and pasted from Macy’s online store anyhoo).

That legal-speak usually translates to “we reserve the right to be assholes if we want to.”

Yes, we have some Terms but, more importantly, we have a philosophy that you probably won’t buy from us again if we piss you off. Go figure.

So, we promise that we will do everything in our powers to help you out if a problem arises. And, we’ll talk to you rather than hide behind a shield of crafty FAQ-speak.

So, what usually goes wrong with online purchases?

It’s rare that we make a mistake with a product. But, hey, we’re human. If we messed it up we will find a way to fix it.

Sizing can be an issue - just like any online clothing store.

We avoid tees with a skinny cut because we aren’t all shaped like models. And we avoid boxy “this will fit anyone -  even a horse” cuts too. Always have a look at the sizing details on the checkout page before you hit the button to make your purchase. And maybe go up a size if you are in doubt.

Most problems arise after the product leaves us and is in the process of delivery to you. But most of the time the issue is impatience. Yes, products go missing, or get stolen from your porch, or get eaten by the dog - but that’s a tiny percentage of the time.

Always check with the shipper before raising an issue - and always remember we are here to help you rather than screw you around so we can save a few bucks.

We also appreciate that many tees that are ordered are gifts. So the delivery timing is more sensitive than usual - because you need it for Christmas or maybe a birthday party coming up. 

So, don’t leave your order too late - particularly in peak times like December, January sales or Black Friday. We can produce your tee super fast if the pressure is on but there’s nothing we can do once it hits the delivery system and a storm hits, or there’s a drivers strike or they are overrun with seasonal workloads.

If you have ordered from us in the past we will email you to let you know peak delivery cut off timing advice.

Sizing guide

You'll. find a handy sizing guide on the product page for your t-shirt.

Got an idea for a funny product?


I’ve always liked the word bespoke.

It makes me think that my product is going to be made by an old Scottish guy with a leather apron, a monocle and a hunting dog at his side.

Sorry to shatter the illusion but bespoke at Cabonk means we can make a personalised tee for you - with anything you like on it.

So, if you have a killer funny line bouncing around in your skull - then here’s your chance to get it on your chest instead. Or your back if you like.


Sorry. I just made that word up.

If you have a great idea for a t-shirt - then let us know about it.

So we can let it loose into the retail jungle for the whole world to see. If it’s suitably Cabonkers we’ll add it to the store. Internet fame assurred.

And, if we sell more than 10 of them we’ll send you your own one for free.

Just email your idea here: admin@cabonk.com

Why don't we do sizes for kids?

We hate kids. The world would be a better place without them. 

Actually, we don’t hate kids (unless it’s 4am and they are still crying).

The simple truth of the matter is that, technically speaking, the Shopify platform we use for sales can only handle a limited number of size and colour options. So, something had to give. We just ran out of options - so kid sizes had to go.  Maybe we can change this in the future - but not for now.

If you really want a kids size then email us directly to ask. We aim to please. admin@cabonk.com.